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Yolanda

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[09 Mar 2008|04:30am]
We all used to be so mean to each other on livejournal. I'm sorry about everthing I said that hurt you. I'm sorry about my passive-aggressive behavior. I should have talked to you all about it, but I just didn't know how.

Anyway. The only person that this refers to who still reads my livejournal is Rhian, but I'm sorry to you all anyway.

I love you all. Still.
11 illegal immigrants| You can come too

My 100 favorite books. [22 Feb 2008|02:09am]
So I was goofing around on myspace and saw some lists of people's 100 favorite songs of all time. I realized I wanted to do that with books. So, I'm going to. Here's my 100 favorite books that I have ever read, in no particular order. I'm not saying they are the best books ever written, but they are my favorites.

Read more... )

Phew....That took far more time than I thought it would. But there you go.
2 illegal immigrants| You can come too

2007! [30 Dec 2007|06:09pm]
1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
I can't think of anything.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I tried to get out of debt, but so far have been unsuccessful, but I did not accrue any more debt. I think this year my resolution is to give up smoking cigarettes completely. And of course try and resolve some of my debt issues.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Ashley had little Maximus and he's precious.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Tia Olga de Miami.

5. What countries did you visit?
America.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
My finances straigtened out. My own apartment.

7. What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
February 14. David got a barbershop quartet to sing me a Valentine's Day song.
February 22. It was my one year anniversary with David and it was wonderful.
September 26. My 21st birthday, and it was awesome.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Standing up to people.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I don't know. I guess, I was too sensitive.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I was mildly sick a couple of times.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I didn't really buy anything cool.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
I don't know. Alicia. David.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Lots of people's. No need to name names.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Food. Gas. Bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
David. My birthday.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
Meatloaf.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? a tad bit sadder.
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter.
iii. richer or poorer? about the same.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
laugh.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
cry.

20. How will did you be spending Christmas?
I spent Christmas Eve at Mina's house, and Christmas I spent some with my mother at Papa and Granny's but I spent most of it at David's house with his mother, brother and Aunt Adlee

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
I continues to stay in love...

23. How many one-night stands?
None.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Law and Order: SVU

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No. But I dislike a couple more people than I did last year.

26. What was the best book you read?
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I didn't really make any musical discoveries. Dose Mojo?

28. What did you want and got?
Hmmm...I don't think I really got anything that I really wanted.

29. What did you want and not get?
A good job. A new car. My own place.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Hmmm...Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 21. We went to Images for the drag show and I got wasted and we had a blast.

32.What is one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If I wasn't in debt. If I could have lived with David.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
the same as it's always been. Comfort.

34. What kept you sane?
David. Alicia. Reading.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Nicolas Cage. I love him.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Oh my god. Ron Paul. I hate him.

37. Who did you miss?
Rhian. Casey. Corina. Heike.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Hmmm...I guess Gary. I really like David's Aunt Adlee.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
Nobody really knows you as much as you think they do or should.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
I don't know. I don't feel like thinking about it right now.
2 illegal immigrants| You can come too

Fun. I haven't done one of these in a while. [14 Nov 2007|01:38am]
Post a comment and I'll
1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a color, a photo, etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
6. Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.
7. In return, you must post this in your LJ.
You can come too

Your fondest dream... [07 Nov 2007|08:08pm]
will come true within a year.--fortune cookie

I got that the other day and it made me really happy. For about ten seconds.

I just found out today that my car has blown it's head gaskets, which to get fixed would cost about $1000, that frankly I don't have. With $1000 I can by a new used car. Probably wouldn't be the best car, but it would run. And it just makes me feel so shitty.

Because now I have no way to get to work and I don't know how long that's going to be. I HATE HATE HATE HATE bothering other people for rides. Depending on other people for rides. I've been catching a ride with Tio Raul, Abuela or David for a couple of weeks, but I've missed several days because I felt guilty for asking Raul or Abuela and David couldn't do it. And then today at dinner Gabriella asked me if I had a ride set up to get to work now that I'm carless. I said I didn't because I just found out today and had today off. She then said, "Well, can you ride the bus?" I said I probably could but it would take me about 2 hours to get to work IF the buses were running ontime and that wouldn't help me on Sundays because buses don't start running until noon on Sundays. She said, "Well, you could get a lot of reading done." and then turned to Raul and started talking about how gas is so expensive. This is basically her way of telling me that I shouldn't ask them for rides. Or maybe it's not and I'm just interpreting it that way because I'm pissed about my car and pmsing. But it sounded that way to me.

And she's often that way towards me anyway. She complains if I stay out too much. She complains if I am there too much. She acts as if I'm a burden to her. If I stay home for dinner (which is about on average 1 night a week), she acts all pissy about it. I offered to cook dinner a couple of times and when I did she complained because I messed up on of her pans. I do not feel comfortable in my home here. I do not feel welcome. And it was her idea for me to live here in the first place. When I was moving out of Fontaine Woods she suggested that I come live here. I told her that I didn't want to be a burden or put anyone out, that it would be crowded, but she insisted and spoke with my grandmother about it and it was settled. And now I feel like I have to walk on tiptoes around her.

And it's so cold in my house because Abuela hasn't turned on the heat yet because it costs too much money. And that makes me feel so shitty.

I hate feeling like a burden. I hate it. I try so hard to stay out of everyone's way. I don't eat here most of the time because I don't want to burden anyone and I don't want to eat food that they paid for. I'd buy my own food and cook it but there's no room in the fridge and I can't feel comfortable cooking here anyway. So I end up eating out most of the time, which is definitely why I've gained so much weight. In fact, I hate eating ANYONE'S food. I don't eat at anyone's house unless they expressly ask me. Ever. And now I even feel guilty about that because of issues with some friends. And Robin said that if I'm invited to someone's house I'm supposed to bring something. I was never taught that. I was not raised that way. In my family when there is a dinner at someone's house, they cook. If we did not have enough food to feed you, you would not be invited in the first place. I'm not use to this faux welcomeness.

People tell me that I am welcome, but then I get there and I'm not. And no one even says anything to me. Caitlyn told me that Gabriella talked to my mother about me coming home late and not often enough. and my mother was supposedly really mad about it. But really, my mom?? what the fuck control does she have over me? I haven't listened to her in years. And if you have a problem with me, fucking come to me!! I'm so sick of this. When all that stuff was going on at Wendy's no one came to me! No one! Josh told Jonathan who told Wendy who told David who told me...and then people wondered how everything got jumbled up and changed and misunderstood. I just wish people would be honest with me, because if people aren't honest with me, I don't feel like I can be honest with them.

I know that I've been a lot more forceful lately, but please...if you have a problem with something I'm doing, tell me. And then I'll tell you what I have a problem with and there may be yelling or raised voices or whatever, but at least it will be out there in the open. None of this hiding it in corners where it comes out unexpectedly. That's how I'm trying to live my life now. I use to keep everything bottled up inside. I'm not doing that anymore. It's better to have everything out in the open. It's much more healthy.

~Yolie~
5 illegal immigrants| You can come too

Fuck them... [28 Aug 2007|04:04pm]
Ok...so today I saw an article in the Times Free Press that I found here online. But I'm going to paste the article here for people who are too lazy to click links on through.

Chattanooga, TN - WASHINGTON -- For decades, immigration officials have granted U.S. citizenship to all children born on American soil.

But Rep. Nathan Deal, R-Ga., wants to see that practice end for children of illegal immigrants.


"Birthright citizenship is one of those things that has become a magnet for illegal immigrants to come over here," said Rep. Deal, who has filed a bill that would restrict birthright citizenship to children who have at least one parent with legal resident status or U.S. citizenship.

At the crux of the issue is a clause in the 14th Amendment, passed in 1868 after the Civil War with freed slaves in mind, that granted citizenship to "all persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof."


That last clause -- "subject to the jurisdiction thereof" -- has many conservatives and border-control activists arguing that the amendment was never intended to apply to illegal immigrants.

But several immigrant-rights advocates say Rep. Deal's bill is "un-American" and unfairly targeting Hispanics.


"He's proposing to change the Constitution to accommodate his anti-immigrant and xenophobic beliefs," said Jerry Gonzales, executive director of the Georgia Association of Latino Elected Officials. "He needs to work on ways to ensure we have a robust immigration policy to meet the economic needs of Georgia."

Stephen Fotopulos, policy director for the Tennessee Immigrant and Refugee Rights Coalition, added that the bill "violates the most basic premise of what it is to be an American."


"None of us chose to be born here, who our parents are and how they got here," he said.

Rep. Deal, whose Northwest Georgia district is heavily Hispanic, said the United States is an anomaly in a world where 122 countries do not grant birthright citizenship, including all of Europe, while 33 do, with the United States being the largest.


He has introduced similar bills three previous years, and though he acknowledges that his bill likely will not be brought up for consideration, especially with Democrats controlling the House, he said his cause is gaining momentum, with 89 co-sponsors to the bill, all Republican, the most ever.

"I think the climate is changing," Rep. Deal said. "Illegal immigration has become more of a national concern than it has been in the past."


Rep. Zach Wamp, R-Tenn., one of the co-sponsors, said the legislation would be a sorely needed deterrent to illegal immigration, particularly with comprehensive immigration reform stonewalled in Congress.

Children of illegal immigrants, so-called "anchor babies," can sponsor their parents for legal permanent residency once they reach adulthood.


"Clearly we need to send word all throughout Central and South America that if you have a baby in this country and you're not a U.S. citizen, (it) doesn't mean they're going to be a citizen," Rep. Wamp said. "This is not designed to be mean, it's just designed to basically curtail illegal immigration."

Legal experts disagree on the constitutional merits of Rep. Deal's bill.


Peter J. Spiro, a constitutional and immigration law professor at Temple University who testified in 2005 before Congress on birthright citizenship, said similar legislation has been introduced since the mid-1990s and gone nowhere.

"The government has always assumed that these children have citizenship at birth," he said. "In theory, the executive branch could start denying citizenship to the children of undocumented aliens, but there's never been any suggestion within the executive branch of that happening."


Even if the bill were to pass, he said, the judicial system would likely strike it down, ruling that a constitutional amendment, which needs to be ratified by three-fourths of the states, would be required to change the 14th amendment's birthright citizenship provision.

"It's pretty clear that nonwithstanding a Supreme Court precedent on the amendment, it is a constitutional rule," Mr. Spiro said.


But John Eastman, dean of the Chapman University School of Law, who also testified before Congress in 2005 on the issue, said he believes the provision can be changed statutorily by Congress without a constitutional amendment.

He said the 14th Amendment has been misunderstood by immigration officials and the courts since the 1950s, when birthright citizenship began being granted on a wide scale to illegal immigrants.


"For the people that wrote that clause, there was a very well-defined distinction of sovereign jurisdiction," Mr. Eastman said. "Since the constitution doesn't give birthright citizenship, then of course (a change) can be done statutorily."

Mr. Eastman added that any immigration reform package that includes a guest worker program will have to address birthright citizenship.


"It's a big issue whether a child must stay here as a U.S. citizen or go home," he said. "Addressing and confronting this birthright citizenship provision up front will be a precondition for a guest worker program going through.


I am so very angry. Why do they think they have any right to change the constitution because they are so afraid that hispanics are going to come in and take their jobs. Might I mention that these jobs are the ones these fuckers don't even want? You know, busing tables and washing dishes and working constructions. Do you think we'd ever see Zach Wamp working in a kitchen at Chili's cleaning our leftovers off of our plates? Of course not. Because he was privaleged enough to not ever have to deal with that. Or if he wasn't he's too stuck up to remember.

And he sits there in his nice house and says he's not trying to be mean, just trying to curtail illegal immigration, but what he's really doing is pointing his finger to Latin America and screaming "YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE." He is being blatantly rascist against Hispanics and the majority of his fellow Republicans agree. But you know what?

WE ALL COME FROM IMMIGRANTS HERE. And we didn't give a damn when we came here and stole land and lives from the Native Americans. We just said, move over buddies. We're better than you because we have guns and we're white. All these immigrants want is a chance to live a life above poverty.

And we are one of the richest nations in the world. But our motto is, WE DON'T WANT YOU HERE, unless you can help us anyway...by, you know, giving us access to oil. But whatever.

God, I'm so mad.
3 illegal immigrants| You can come too

Mini-Nervous Breakdown [22 Apr 2007|12:24pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]
[ music | A Long December--Counting Crows ]

Lately, I've been feeling so alone and confused and tired and angry and almost every emotion that is able to be felt at once. It's so conflicting.

And yesterday, David and I had a small, really stupid fight on the way to Wendy's and suddenly, I just had to GET OUT of there. I got Jonathan to take me to my car. I started to drive home when I remembered why it had been parked at Robin's for a week. I couldn't drive it home because the brakes need to be changed and I have no gas, nor any money for gas. I called Alicia because I had nothing else I could do and broke down on the phone crying and sobbing. It's a miracle she even understood a word I said.

I was talking about how I don't have any money. I'm in debt with the bank because I had to pay my cell phone bill and car insurance. I've spent all my money of food because my grandmother's out of town and there's no food in the house because my uncle and his wife decided now would be a GREAT time to go on the NutraSystem diet and leave me high and dry. I have credit card debt out the ass because I thought it would be a wonderful idea to go to Europe last summer and haven't been able to catch up on my bills since. (It really was a lot of fun, but it wasn't worth the debt.) I still owe Wendy money. I still owe Megan. Not to mention that semester's tuition I owe UTC and all my school loans that I'm going to have to start paying on now.

Thank God I've paid off my car. Now let's just pray it can keep going for a while.

And it's not like I really have anyone to fall back on, at all. My family would never let me be homeless, but they won't help me with my debt. Alicia said she thought that they would, but that I'd have to tell them about my mother getting credit cards in my name. But the thing is...they KNOW about that. They just think that I should forgive her because she's my mother. That I should just let her get away with it. They ignore it. They tell me that it must have been a mistake and that she's sorry. She's not sorry. I KNOW my mother. They don't know her as a mother, but I do. I know she thought she could get away with it because I didn't live with my grandmother at the time and that I would never see the bills. She was banking on me being as idiotic as she is, but my grandmother showed me some mail that was in my name and then I told her to hold anything else that came in in my name. Hell, I think my mom still has a credit card in my name but gets the bill sent to Dexter's. But I don't even know how to get my fucking credit report.

And I'm SOOOOOOOOOOO mad all the time at almost everyone. Sometimes it's irrational and founded in nothing, and I recognize it and nip it in the bud. But sometimes it's not irrational. Sometimes it is founded and I really fight with myself not to confront them and tell them exactly what I think. If I do that, though, I'd hurt the people who told me because I wasn't supposed to know. But dammit, it was about me, it was about someone I love, and it was very offensive to both of us. And it's caused more trouble between us than they even know about because it's filled me with insecurities and paranoia...and I bet they don't even fucking care. And I've tried to ignore it and I tried to forget about it, but I can't...and I seethe with anger about it EVERYTIME I think about it. Because I would never say that about one of them. EVER. And really what kind of friend are they if they'll talk about me like that when I'm not there.

I never understood the phrase "making my blood boil" but recently, that's exactly what I feel like a lot of the time. And I don't know what to do. I want to tell people when I'm angry but I can't seem to express myself when I'm in this state without getting hysterical. I can't control this anger. It's overpowering and overwhelming. It terrifies me. It's so...scary. My body shakes, tears stream and I don't know how to stop it. I just want it to stop.

I'm so grateful for Alicia. She's like the only person I can talk to who really gets it because she understands the family dynamic and she understands how that dynamic has affected me. And she doesn't care if I freak out. She won't judge me if I cry. She just lets me cry and talks to me. And gets mad with me. She calls my boyfriend to see if I'm ok...She's just my sanity right now.

But I'm so lost. And angry. And sad. And all I want to do is disappear from everyone. But I know that's no way to handle it.

Damn.

12 illegal immigrants| You can come too

[22 Apr 2007|12:21pm]
I found this article on lj a few weeks ago...


Read more... )



First I would like to mention that I hate that this article only refers to abusers as men. Absolutely hate it. It's discrimanatory and wrong. But other than that.

So I read this and I'm terrified. I see so much of myself in this article. I do so much of this stuff to the people I care about. I am not physically abusive. I know that I'm not...but all the power plays and this abuser mentality fits me so well. I am emotionally abusive to those I care about, sometimes...I just don't know how to stop. I'm so scared.
You can come too

The end of a chapter... [08 Feb 2007|03:59am]
[ mood | indescribable ]

I got my computer back from Adam today (or technically yesterday, but I haven't slept yet). I'd been so scared to confront him. I didn't want to go alone and taking David would have been a bad idea. But today I took Rhian with me and went over to his house. I think I realized why I was so scared.

When he came out of Sabrina's house, he looked at me with such hatred and malice in his eyes. He didn't say a word to me until I asked for the computer back. He said he could give me some money, and I was ok with that...but when he got to the door he changed his mind and said he'd give me the computer.

He brought it to me and said, "So we're square now, right?" I said, "Yes." "And you have no more reason to ever come around here again?" "Right." And then he walked away. And that was it.

And I realized why I had been so scared. It wasn't really because I thought he was going to put up a fuss or try and start something. I was scared because I didn't want to see the hatred toward me.

As much as he's done to me in the past, I've never hated him. I loved him so much. It wasn't a healthy, reciprocating kind of love, but it was love none-the-less. I had to leave him because if I didn't I would lose myself completely. I had to leave him because I would die inside if I didn't because he could never be what I needed him to be and I would always be asking him to. I had to leave him so that I could be free. And I'm still bitter about a lot of things that he's done. But I didn't leave him because of those things and I didn't leave him because I hated him. I left him for me. And for him. Because we could never be happy together, no matter how much we tried.

I know I still hurt him. And I know that I did a lot of stuff wrong, too. And I would never be in a relationship with him, again. And we could never be friends because there is too much stuff between us. But there were still a lot of good times that I can look back on fondly to remember him by. I learned a lot from him and the relationship we had. How could I not?? He was such a big part of my life for four years. And it just hurts so bad to know that he hates me now and that when he thinks about me, he'll never remember the good things.

And I'm really scared for him because he's spiraling down and down and there's nothing I can do for him. And I know I try to act hard and say I don't care because he's made the choices he's made and now he has to deal with the consequences...but I do care. And I still worry about him. And even though I'm not in love with him anymore, I still care about him very much. But I can't help him anymore. Not even a little bit. Not even at all.

And it's hard.

And I have to deal with the scars he left me with too. I've changed so much, and I'm not quite sure I like the changes. I know I didn't like who I was then, but I don't know that who I've become is any better. I've become the antithesis of the Yolanda-Adam era. I'm no longer passive about anything. Instead of holding everything in, I blow up about everything, stupid things. Things that shouldn't matter. I hardly ever think before I speak. I'm blunt and it hurts people. And I don't like it and I don't know how to fix it. I don't know where my median is. And I'm so confused about myself right now. Sometimes I feel like I've consumed every facet of Adam that I despised and restructured my basic character to reflect his. And I hate hate hate it.

I continually hurt some of the people closest to me, and I don't mean to. And sometimes I really, really wish that I could start over someplace new where no one knows my name and I don't have to worry about hurting anyone until I can figure myself out. But I would never do that because I know that disappearing would only hurt those I love. And it probably wouldn't do any good anyway.

I'm so confused and I'm rambling...so I'm going to try and go to sleep.

Peace out.

6 illegal immigrants| You can come too

Hello 2007!! [01 Jan 2007|03:29am]
Good-bye 2006!

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
I went to Europe.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't know that I made any. I think my resolution for this year is to try to get out of debt and not to make any more for myself if I can help it.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yeah. Robyn and Victor had a little girl they named Zsa-Zsa Victoria Jabour. I shit you not.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
England, France, Spain, Switzerland, Germany, and Belgium.

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
My finances straigtened out.

7. What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
February 13. The day I broke up with Adam.
February 22. The day I officially got together with David.
May 22-June 7. My trip to Europe.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Finding someone who treated me the way I desereved to be treated.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being able to speak my mind without being mean.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had knee surgery.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My plane ticket to Europe.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Alicia, David, and Megan Humble.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Adam.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Europe. And credit card debt. Oh. And bills out the wazoo.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
David. Europe. Coming home from Europe. Seeing Heike. Christmas.

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
Queen songs, Billy Joel songs, and "You Make Me So Very Happy" by Blood, Sweat and Tears.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? way happier
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter.
iii. richer or poorer? poorer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
laugh.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
cry.

20. How will did you be spending Christmas?
I spent Christmas Eve at my grandmother's house and then went with David to see him play at a church. Christmas day I picked up David, we opened presents at Abuela's, Dexter's, and then his mother's. Then we went to Wendy's for a surprise birthday party we threw for David.

22. Did you fall in love in 2006?
Yes.

23. How many one-night stands?
None.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Gilmore Girls.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don't "hate" anyone, but I strongly dislike Adam Bowerman.

26. What was the best book you read?
The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Wicked the Musical.

28. What did you want and got?
To be with someone who I love and who really loves me back.

29. What did you want and not get?
Pssh...a lot, but nothing that really matters.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Uh...I don't know.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Nothing spectacular. Just quiet times with close friends and family. I turned twenty.

32.What is one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If I wasn't in debt.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
the same as it's always been.

34. What kept you sane?
My friends. David.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
don't know.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
All that political campaigning crap between Ford and Corker. I hated those fucking commercials. Oh and Issue 1.

37. Who did you miss?
Everyone at different times. Megan sometimes.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I didn't really meet anyone new, but best person I got closests to in 2006 was Megan Humble.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
Sometimes you really have got to just let go and move on.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

"Oooh oooh take it take it all away
Oooh ooh take my breath away
Oooh ooh yoooo take my breath away

Look into my eyes and youll see Im the only one
Youve captured my love stolen my heart
Changed my life
Every time you make a move you destroy my mind
And the way you touch
I lose control and shiver deep inside
You take my breath away

You can reduce me to tears with a single sigh
Evry breath that you take
Any sound that you make is a whisper in my ear
I could give up all my life for just one kiss
I would surely die if you dismiss me from your love
You take my breath away

So please dont go
Dont leave me here all by myself
I get ever so lonely from time to time
I will find you anywhere you go
Ill be right behind you
Right until the ends of the earth
Ill get no sleep until I find you
To tell you that you just take my breath away

I will find you anywhere you go
Right until the ends of the earth
Ill get no sleep until I find you
To tell you when Ive found you
I love you

Take my breath take my breath ... away"
You can come too

Christmas... [24 Dec 2006|03:15am]
Christmas is almost here.

In fact it's already Noche Buena and I'm very excited. I've loved Christmas Eve my whole life. My family gathers and we eat and we talk and (for the most part) we are Merry, because it's held at my grandmother's house.

I am so excited about getting closer to some of my family. Namely Alicia. We talk almost every day now and...I don't know, it's so easy. And it's always been this way. We can go months without talking and when we see each other it's like we've never parted. And I'm so grateful to her because she's been so helpful after my surgery. She visited me and called me every day, just to see how I was getting on. She even came over and help me wash my hair twice (Don't feel bad, Megan. I forgot too when you came over). She did all this even though she was really busy and run ragged by her grandmother/mother/sister. She did it because she loved me. And it's opened my eyes a little bit to what true friendship and kinship is. I know that I can trust her to always be there for me, no matter what.

My surgery has shown me a lot about who my real friends are, and I'm grateful for it. My real friends visited. Or called me to ask me how I was doing because they genuinely wanted to know and were thinking about me. Or they commented to me on lj or myspace, if it was difficult (or impossible) for them to see me. My real friends wanted and found ways to see me. And I want to thank you all. I love you so much.

Have a Merry Christmas everyone!!!

~Yolie~
3 illegal immigrants| You can come too

Bored and in pain... [13 Dec 2006|01:56pm]
Survey first )

Ok. So I had knee surgery on Monday. Apparently, there was a lot more wrong with it than they thought initially from the MRI's. There was tissue floating around and at some point a ligament tore in my knee and something formed to close the gap. So all that had to be removed and the ligament mended. Luckily it was arthoscopic surgery, so the recovery isn't as terrible as it could be, but it still hurts like hell. I was prescribed two pain medications. The one for mild pain is hydrocodone, but that one only makes me feel dizzy and nauseated, and yeah it gets rid of the pain, but I haven't decided if the side effects are worth it. The one for severe pain is meperine or something. And this one is my friend. It knocks out the pain and puts me to sleep. It's nice. Except there are twice as many hydro's as the other.

The doctor asked me if there was ever an accident where I may have damaged my knee. And I couldn't really think of one. Until I remembered the the incendent mentioned in this entry. That's the that time that I jumped/fell/was pushed from the moving vehicle is the only time ever that I can remember hurting my knee. It was gross and bleeding for a week. I bet that is when I damaged it.

Anyway. Right now I'm stuck at my grandmother's because I can't drive. I'm starting to get really bored. So if anyone wants to come and visit me, you are totally welcome.

~Yolie~
6 illegal immigrants| You can come too

[11 Nov 2006|02:43pm]
I never in my life thought I would post about something like this...But I'm really sad that Georgia is beating Auburn.

Really, really, really sad.

I think I'm becoming a college football fan.

Yikes.
6 illegal immigrants| You can come too

[12 Oct 2006|09:27pm]
It's been a while. It's not that I haven't wanted to write, or even that there was a lack of interesting things in my life. I just haven't really wanted to write about anything too personal recently and a lot of stuff is personal.

I turned twenty. My actual birthday went by without too much to-do. I was in school all day. A lot of people called me on my birthday or sent me messages. It was very much appreciated. My mother never called (or rather, she called, but left no message and no fowarding number), but whatever. I guess I should stop expecting her to give a damn. The Sunday after my birthday, Rhian, Chad, David and I went to the Haunted Caverns at Ruby Falls. We were like, the only ones there. I think it was it was because it was the first weekend of October, but it was really eerie. David and I also celebrated my birthday with my grandmother, Tio Raul and his wife Gabriella (they are living with my grandmother until a. Tio finishes school and b. they get a house in Chattanooga). That was good fun. We had my "favorite chicken," which is really a Cuban version of Country-fried steak only it tastes better and isn't nearly as bad for you. We talked politics while walking the dog and then we played trivial pursuit. All in all the small celebrations with my close friends and family went well and were suiting to a twenty-year-old.

My sister turns eleven tomorrow. I don't think I'm even going to see her on her birthday or call her or anything because my mom never stays at Dexter's house and she doesn't have a phone to reach her at. I suppose I could go by my mother's job, since Caitlyn sleeps in the floor in the back, but I just think it's ridiculous that I should have to do that. Supposedly, Caitlyn's having a party tomorrow that I've heard nothing about. Scratch that--I just called my grandmother's house to find out about the party. I'm gonna crash it. Not really. I'm just going to go see my sister and give her a hug.

Uh...aside from that, not much else is going on. I'm doing well in school. I have a great boyfriend. I'm having a lot of religious/spiritual questions. And I'm FLAT broke. But I'll survive it. Because I have to.

Love.

~Yolie~
2 illegal immigrants| You can come too

Oooh look... [18 Sep 2006|05:29pm]
A Collage! )
Create your own! Originally Written By [info]ga_woo, Hosted and ReWritten by [info]darkman424


I know it's been a while since I posted...there isn't much of interest. Or rather there is, but I don't really feel like writing about it. I'll do something soon I guess.
1 illegal immigrant| You can come too

[01 Sep 2006|09:02pm]
The Shagging meme )
You can come too

Craziness... [23 Aug 2006|05:16pm]
Usher is Billy Flynn in Chicago.

I'm a little frightened for Broadway.
4 illegal immigrants| You can come too

[22 Aug 2006|05:32pm]
My first day of class equals very hectic.

I have NO IDEA how I am supposed to get to my first class in Holt Hall to my second class in the Metropolitan Building in the ten minutes I am alotted. Metro to Patten Chapel isn't so bad. And the rest are easy. It's just that one class change...

Anyway. I like my classes/teachers so far except for math. And I'm never going to like math so I've just got to suck it up and get use to it. The social work class seems like it will be very interesting. And I like the pieces we're doing in Chattanooga Singers. I even did one of them (All That Hath Life and Breath) in senior choir.

And after school, I came to work. I only have twenty minutes more, and then it's naptime. I have made it so. I'm so exhausted. Plus I think I'm coming down with David's sickness. Yay!!!

~Yolie~
6 illegal immigrants| You can come too

Yes!!!!!!!!! [21 Aug 2006|03:02pm]
I finally have my schedule! I have classes from 9:25 a.m. until 4:20 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays and from 3:00 to 3:50 on Mondays and Wednesdays. I have a total of fourteen hours. Fun fun. I did sign up for Chattanooga Singers, though. I miss singing. I miss choir. So, I've remedied that.

Also, I put in my two weeks notice at the firm. It's a good job and though they will work around my school schedule, I still can't pay my bills on 30 hours a week. I'm switching to Wilkins Research. It's second shift and Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. That's nifty because I'll still make forty hours a week and be able to be full-time in school. I like the hours too. I can sleep-in five days out of seven instead of two out of seven. That excites me.

ok. That's all I've got.

Tada.

~Yolie~
3 illegal immigrants| You can come too

Basically... [16 Aug 2006|12:46pm]

daveandyo
Originally uploaded by yoliesraft.
this whole post was made to show off this picture. I really love it. It's from Wendy and Jonathan's wedding.

Life is swell right now. Ok. Not really. I'm super stressed. My mom got another credit card in my name. I filed a police report. School starts on Monday. I have no money.

But at least my brakes are fixed (thanks to David and Dave Kinsey). And I have a place to live. And I have awesome friends. Oh and food. Food is nice.

And Rhian got a new kitty. Who is precious. I wish I had a digital camera because I would so post pictures.

I'm done being random.

The End.

~Yolie~
2 illegal immigrants| You can come too

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